my annual retelling of my finest bed time story, happy Oct. 31st

A bed time story.

One day a self-edifying group of subniveal conservative lemmings rushing through the forest came upon a magnificent bull stuck in the mud.  After some discussions with the bull it was decided is they could profit they would help the bull free himself.  At first it was great chaos as the lemmings bragged and argued amongst themselves and to the bull that they were each the true center of conservative strength.   The neo-cons begged for assination of foreign heads of state as policy, the paleo-cons cried for a return to Nietzche ideals, constitutionalists demanded repeal of the Amendments, veiled racist denounced emigrants, business swore against consumer rights, traders called for social security to be privatized for their firms to manage, the religious right prayed for control over women and war in the middle east, the union haters scorned living wages and the health care act, the birthers blathered, fossil fuel supporters blustered at science and solar energy, others were content to just cry no no no.  

Eventually just enough conservatives pulled to free the bull, where upon chaos resumed as each boasted his political view was the conservative power that had accomplished the task.

A few days later the magnificent bull happened upon a rocky pit, looking down he saw all the lemmings were in it, helpless as a group to get out.  Seeing the bull they demanded he repay his debt at once.  The bull straddled the pit lowering his immense penis and testicles into the stony crease.  The conservative lemmings scampered up the bulls’ member to safety and ran off to persecute the doves cooing nearby.

Moral of the story: It’s better to have a big dick than a wilderness of conservatives.