The wifes brother started freaking us out bout 7 years ago. He reports Jesus shows up in his bedroom every once in a while, middle of the night, to give him directions, he and his wife are champion consumers, I don't know where Jesus could stand, the house is not so much a set of rooms as it is trails through a wilderness of the fruits of Chinese manufacturing stacked to the window tops. Talking to him is a lesson in religio-speak, everything is blessed, abundant, and the will of someone, apparently the diety lost up stairs in his junk.
I have a friend who's got a brother-in-law that freaks him out too. The guy thinks space ships are stalking him. But he ain't without his own resources, he found out that a triangle of a certain size and shape is something these buggers can't abide. He has cardboard triangles under his car seat, bed, couch, in the bathroom. When kidded about it he gets riled, and reminds my friend it's not bullshit, it works, they have not grabbed him. It's an exciting life though, dashing into work and spending the day unprotected, at stores it's the same. Wow.
Given the two, I like his brother-in-law best. Lucky for him the deflector shield isn't a icosahedron, those damn things are hard to make.
Fringe:
ReplyDeleteIcosahedron? I had to look up that one. With 12 vertices, 20 faces and 30 sides, it would be hard to make. :^)
There is no question that I am out of my sphere at this blog. You are brilliant...icosahedron.
ReplyDeleteBtw, I believe the brother-in-law is misinformed. It is not triangles per se that bug them, it's pyramids. The Egyptians knew this, as did the ancient Mayans. There is no known case of alien abduction of either Egyptian, Mayan...or for that matter, Aztec. Just sayin'.
Jesus has the ability to hover.
ReplyDeleteTriangles work, pyramids work and in my case it's the shoes. And don't forget magic underwear. ; )
I want to know what happened to those plastic Jesus things on the dashboards...
ReplyDeleteSarge
Whit, thanks for describing it, I should have posted a picture of it, but if people google it they will see.
ReplyDeleteJadedj:
ReplyDeleteNot only that, moonshine jugs scattered around the house protected my kin in Kentucky from kidnappers on the death star from 1800 till today.
NAC
ReplyDeleteI got to get me some of that magic funderware.
Sarge,
ReplyDeleteI hear the ones that work best are the ones that look like Saint Peter when you hold them the other way.
About ten years ago a friend at work confided in me that he'd been visited by God, God had spoken to him, and one of the things God had insisted he do was "Tell Bob."
ReplyDeleteAfter that revelation, he'd come over to my machine at work daily with new updates. This fascination with predicting the future became slightly distracted by a book on Nostrodamus that I loaned him, which was a mistake because he found that guy's prophesies connected to random Biblical verses he found by (here's the random part) opening to a random page and pointing a shaky finger at a particular verse.
Finally, after about two years of these "visits" I asked him to be specific: "Did God tell you to 'tell Bob' or to 'Tell All the Bobs" 'cause we worked with several others and I was anxious to share his new personality with others.
He wrote it all down in a major screed, self-published, and will send you one if you simply ask for it. Or if you don't. All he needs is your address and you'll get one. Al Gore got one, so did Neil Young, President Bush, five or six members of Congress, and most of the nation's governors. He's a busy boy.
I'll mention the icosahedron next time he calls.
When I mentioned that most folks who hear from God personally (Moses, Karesh, Jim Jones, Manson) don't fare well, he gets a little annoyed with me. I'm a terrible disciple, turns out.
At least Moses is remembered fondly. ; )
ReplyDeleteSquatlo;
ReplyDelete"a major screed", I like that, a long tedious speech or piece of writing. Thanks for the new word. Yea, seems your thin on disciple attributes.
NAC
ReplyDeleteMoses may be remembered fondly, but did he get into heaven? I have heard (when I was a kid being drug in and out of fire and bremstone churches) from these preachers that Moses took some credit for some of Gods work and therefore his ticket will not be honored. Do you think that's true? True within the myth that is.
I think it would depend on who is telling the story (since it's not something that anyone could "know").
ReplyDeleteIf trying to emphasize that God is the ultimate judge and must be OBEYED and never challenged in any way the story would be that he was denied heaven.
If trying to emphasize that God is all about mercy and love (actually evolved into that later, didn't he?) then Moses gets into Heaven. Maybe after a long hitch in Purgatory.