The old joke, my mother's weighing the mailman she'll be right down. More junk science from the Fringe

Something to do with testicles if examined correctly can reveal the owners weight.  Yea well it was a nasty joke.

But what if we passed two German satellites over Greenland a couple times a day, say 450 kilometers up, one chasing the other 220 kilometers apart to triangulate the sniffing and tasting of Greenland with lots of sensors measuring gravitational pull, ice pack depth and density, surface height, and more.  Well, you could figure out how much Greenland weighs.  Every day they have more data showing year by year the impact of a warming world.  The Germans found that in the last few years, annually, 183 gigatons of Greenland ice melts into the sea.  That's a load any mailman would tell you, thats a hell of a load.

Here you make your own dirty joke about the mailman cometh or weighing slippery things, global warming,  coastal flooding.